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Ah yes dear reader, the ale is gone, the guests have all
left (apart from the one chap who passed out in the begonias) and you are
left with no idea how you ended up in the broom cupboard. Time to sober up
from last weeks excrementally good news from Iraq, California, and
Washington DC. A trifecta of earthly delights if you are a
Republican...
A trifecta of devastating realities if you are a
Democrat. However your hangover consists of one reality. The November
elections are for the GOP to lose, And judging by their past performance
they are quite capable of losing everything. What is worse they do not
seem to be aware of it. Yes my sons, the momentum is in the favor of those
Republicans who have properly fastened their skates and are poised on the
top of the hill marked "Reagan BLVD". Ready to ride the tide of good news
to the victory circle behind Karl Roves Beach house tentatively named
Valerie. But how many of the GOP's finest have their skates on the right
way round?
A difficult question often clouded the DNC's inability to
look coherent. However it is the Democrats who have dictated most of the
business that passes through the halls of Congress. By simply saying "no"
and slowing the congressional machinations to a crawl slower than Al
Franken. They have unwittingly (they have no wit) made Washington DC even
less productive then French Parliament. It is my opinion that there should
a person employed by the GOP who's sole job is to occasionally walk up to
the leading Republicans and kick them in the balls after shouting 'WE ARE
IN CONTROL YOU BASTARDS!!!". The pathetic GOP pratts should be able to
introduce any blll they fancy and justify it by simply saying "You're
Harry Ried, go play with your trains". Yes we should be able to limit
welfare to those who actually need it rather than give it to those who are
predominantly horny. They should have had the guts to stand up and say
"Mr. Speaker..Thanks to President Bush My wife isn't wearing a Burka and I
haven't been forced to marry my 10 year old neice". When Polident Pelosi
coined the phrase "Culture of Corruption" They should have marched Tom
Delay in front of the cameras and have him recite all the most recent DNC
ethical problems. He could have started with Pelosi and even mentioned
that pervert Barney Frank who buggers young men in his spare time...
It
seems to your humble pilot on this journey through the Frogs that we
should have a conservative mandate. What we have is a group of
"Conservatives" who have forgotten who voted them in and why. Without Newt
to chase them about and hit them over the head repeatedly with a cardboard
cutout of Jimmy Carter kissing Yassir Arafat they have become fiscally
irresponsible, Conservatively timid and basically a more enjoyable version
of the DNC. Exactly why Bill Frist is intimidated by Harry Rieds
impersonation of a mortician is beyond most of our comprehension. Bill
Frist is a nice fellow and I know conducting business in the senate is
like having to walk through quicksand with Ried, Dickey Turban, and
Tidewater Teddy hanging on to your legs, holding you down. But the man
needs to grow some testicles. I know he stabs himself in the thighs with
forks every night for not electing to use the nuclear option when he had
the chance. Instead he elected to let the gang of 14 (I thought they
were El Salvadorian) come to a compromise. Compromise? You're the
Conservative leader of the Senate and it is your duty to push through the
Conservative agenda. Now correct me if I'm wrong but when is it a better
time to do that than WHEN YOU ARE IN THE MAJORITY? Alexander the great did
nor conqure Persia when he was in middle school. Adolf Hitler did not wait
until he was on a ditch covered in petrol on fire before he invaded
Poland. You do at when you are on the top of your game. And I think Frists
game needs a time out.
We have had years of Democrats saying no to
every policy brought forth by Conservative administrations. That is
expected. That is what they do. However one also expects them to offer
their own ideas and alternatives. Their last original idea was to publicly
defame Robert Bork. Since then they have simply been obstructionist. With
no agenda, no ideas, no morals, and little or know finger on the pulse of
America. The GOP should be mopping up. Their low approval ratings cap off
a long period of wasted energy and irresponsibility. The only reason most
Conservatives will still vote for them is because Liberalism is a
dangerous thing. The left has decided to sit back and wait for the United
States armed forces, the most powerful military on the planet to fail in
Iraq. This is an unwise bet. But a bet they have made none the less. The
Iraq war is going to be an important issue this election. Thankfully this
is an issue the GOP owns and every time the left calls for us to cut and
run they lose points. Unfortunately for the right there will be ither
issues on the ballot. Most importantly spending and immigration. The
Republican party must heed the wishes of those who elected them to public
office.
-Bert
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