MAYBE MURTHA SHOULD HAVE USED A SHIV...

Sometimes I yearn for the good ole' days, when Congressional disagreements were settled with a rousing game of red rover or an American Gladiators-style pugil stick battle. These days, the best you can get out of a Congressman is a tongue lashing or a threat of legislative reprisals. Whoop-dee-do. Jack Murtha admits to threatening Rep. Mike Rogers when Rogers attempted to strike a $23 million earmark Murtha had proposed. Murtha stormed across the house floor and threatened Rogers, saying "you will not get any earmarks, now and forever." A clear violation of Congressional ethics rules. Republicans put in a bid to reprimand Murtha, but of course the bid was rejected by the democrats. Had it been a republican charging across the floor of Congress to threaten a democrat, he would have been tasered by security, escorted from the room in shackles, and every media source in the country would now be showing "dramatic footage of yet another lunatic republican". But of course it wasn't a republican, it was Jack Murtha, so the democrats can brush the whole incident off as just an example of how dedicated he is to his constituents. They'll say, "that's just the way Jack is, he's a little gruff." I wonder if they'll be singing the same tune when the guy has a flashback to the war, (the Revolutionary War, I think) finally snaps and unloads an AK-47 from the house floor. I'm not saying it will happen, just that it could. I guess this is all a part of the plan to bring ethics back to Congress. That was one of the things the democrats were harping about in the last election, right? I say ethics-shmethics. Settle your grievances like men: pistols at dawn. Better yet, each Congressman gets a toothbrush and a file. They can shave the toothbrush down to a fine point and shank their opponents in the yard after they break for lunch. Or how about this; stop wasting time with pork barrell spending and earmarks and do your damn job or we will replace you. -Freddie Banjo