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STUCK BETWEEN BARACK AND A HARD FACE 12/09/2008
Is it just me, or does president-elect Obama look totally lost these days? I suppose you can’t blame him, after all, I imagine it is a bit daunting to wake up every morning to the realization that you are just a little over a month away from being the most powerful man in the free world. Still, it’s not as if he was appointed president without having any say in the matter. He campaigned for the position, and now that he has it, he just looks…well, sort of out of it. When asked what his plan is to stimulate the economy and grow jobs, he gives us the same song and dance he gave us all during his campaign: “I’m going to do things to get America working again.” “What, exactly?” “Stuff. Don’t you worry about it, change is coming America !” “Right, we got that. What kind of change exactly?” “You know, different stuff. Changey stuff. We’re going in a whole new direction.” “You mean by appointing half of Clinton ’s old cabinet. Forgive me for saying so, but it sounds like this “new direction” is backwards.” “No, that’s not true at all. We’re moving to the side.” Right, and which side, exactly?” “Left, of course.” Yes, of course.” Sorry, I got a bit side-tracked there for a minute. But you get the point. It’s still all just talk with no substance. At least, I hope it is. Because he’s now talking about some new vast infrastructure jobs plan. Yeah! Finally, a president who knows just what this country needs – more government jobs to employ people who can’t be fire no matter how incompetent they may be! Why, nothing stimulates an economy like hundreds of thousands of new vestigial government positions created solely to put people back to work holding up shovels along the thousands of miles of deteriorating roads across this great country of ours. Far be it from me to say that government workers aren’t diligent, hard-working individuals, but just for a laugh, why not nip on down to your local Department of Motor Vehicles. If you happen to get there during business hours (roughly between 12:00 and 12:15 pm daily, excluding holidays, both real and imagined of course) you will undoubtedly find some of the least helpful and most miserable human beings the world has to offer. Roughly 6,000 of them standing behind the counter with one window open. And there will be a line wrapped around the building a dozen times and ending just about five feet from your own front door. Obviously I’m exaggerating. There are probably only 5,999 workers, and the one window open will have just closed. Yes, the people at your local DMV are miserable and unpleasant on the best of days, but who can blame them? They don’t have to be pleasant, they’re government workers. They can never be fired, so why should they care? And they are exactly the people Barack Obama wants to employ more of to stimulate the economy. And speaking of angry, sour-faced, unpleasant people with the demeanor of a DMV employee. I am simply baffled by the president-elect’s choice of Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State. Really? Hillary Clinton? The same Hillary Clinton who can’t deliver a simple speech without screeching like Fran Drescher in a blender? The same Hillary Clinton who can’t go overseas without ranting and screaming about alleged atrocities perpetrated by the American president on the rest of the world? That Hillary Clinton? What are her qualifications, exactly? He must have been enthralled by her vast experience in world affairs, what with her…um. Well, there’s her…uh. Oh, maybe it’s her…yeah, I don’t get it. Wait a minute, didn’t her husband hold some cushy government job a few years back? Yeah, that must be it. She’s Bill Clinton’s beard – oops, wife. Why, that makes her more than qualified. Ever since his choice of Joe Biden for VP (and just where is Sir Gaffe anyway? Has anybody seen him lately?), America has been baffled by Obama’s choices. Let’s just hope he makes the right ones when it really counts: you know, when he’s actually the president, instead of the guy who’s going to be the president. -Freddie “Sharp Knees” Banjo Fighting the libs one Streisand at a time!
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