|
I AM SO TOTALLY DONE WITH GRAVITY 12/11/2008 I recently saw a segment about stressed out teens on the Today show that got me thinking, first: Why am I watching the Today show? Then: Teens are stressed out? Who cares? Suck it up crybabies! Hey, all you adults out there, how many of you are stressed out? Show of hands. Wow! I could actually feel the whoosh of air as the hand of every adult in the world went up simultaneously (that’s right, every adult in the world reads the Weekly Frog…at least they should). Today host Meredith Viera was interviewing two pretend scientists who I guess wrote a book (I don’t pay very close attention to the Today show). The two “scientists” drew on mounds of data and years of research to come to the conclusion that teens feel “stressed out”. Can I get a “duh” please? I could have saved them hours of work by suggesting they simply ask a teenager how they’re feeling. The answer will almost always be something like this: “I am like, so totally stressed out and junk. I mean, like my parents are totally out of it and stuff. Like they expect me to do all this work instead of hanging out with my friends. They’re all like ‘do your homework’, and I’m all like ‘no’, and they’re all like ‘do it or else’, and I’m all like, ‘you’re not even my real dad, Herb.’ And then Tina came over last night and told me that Greg told her that Kevin wanted to ask me out to the spring formal, but then Jessica Hellman asked him out first, ‘cause she’s such a total slut, and everybody knows she gave Bobby Taggart a handjob under the bleachers last year.” I’m paraphrasing of course, but that’s the gist of it. All you have to do is ask a kid and they’ll tell you they feel stressed out. And they probably are. But these two morons on the Today show are telling all of America that the way to help your kids cope with stress is to reduce it by removing the stressors. WRONG! From the minute we squeeze ourselves out of the womb, we humans are under a tremendous amount of stress. We wake up with it, we walk around all day with it, and we go to bed with it. Hell, even mother nature is doling it out on us every second of every day. Ever heard of gravity? That’s right, there are over two thousand pounds of air pressing down on each of us right now. That’s a whole lot of stress. Kids have worries, don’t get me wrong. Homework, dating, learning to drive, breaking up, getting back together, getting a job, and so on, are all stressful things, but it doesn’t get any easier. And we’re not doing our kids any favors by teaching them to dodge stress at every turn. Too much homework? Don’t do it, the teacher won’t assign a letter grade anyway. Wouldn’t want to seem unfair, now would we? Had an argument with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Just break up with them, it’s easier than talking through your problems. Work got you down? Just quit. I worry about the lessons we are teaching our kids. That it’s okay to be a quitter. That it’s stupid to strive for excellence when you can just coast into mediocrity. That if they fail in life it’s because the world has somehow let them down. We are not doing them any favors by teaching them this. As they grow older, will they be able to tell their boss, “you’ve given me too much work, I’m stressed”? They can, but most likely the answer will be, “get it done or you’re fired”. Perhaps even more disturbing is the thought that these children will one day have children of their own, and, feeling “too stressed out to deal with it”, will decide it’s easier just to give the kids up and let somebody else raise them. Someone like you and me, Mr. and Mrs. Average American taxpayer. Teenagers don’t need to be coddled, they need to learn to buck up and face their problems head-on. Life is not going to take it easy on them, so they’d better toughen up before they’re thrown out into the world. Listen carefully teenagers: the world does not owe you any favors. Life is stressful. From the moment we’re born until the moment we die, we are continuously bombarded with stress. It is hard, and it is brutal, and it is…necessary. A person is measured not by how easily they walk down the paved road, but by how gracefully they stumble along the rocky path. -Freddie “Crushed by the Constant Weight of Gravity” Banjo Freddie Banjo now writes all his commentaries using his Oscar Wilde commemorative typewriter. Faaancyyy! |
MAIN PAGE
2008 |