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MY ANSWER TO ‘SPREADING THE WEALTH’: TAKE 30% OF MY ANNUAL INCOME
AND FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET
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Apparently, Barack Obama considers himself to be a modern-day Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, all in the interest of ‘fairness’. But that’s not really his intention at all. What he wants to do is steal from the rich and give the proceeds to the government. I’m pretty sure Robin Hood would spin in his grave at that idea, if he – like the notion of a liberal who even knows the definition of the word ‘fair’ – were real.
I must say, I am skeptical of anyone who speaks of spreading ‘fairness’ throughout the land, like Johnny Appleseed spreading – well apple seeds, and expecting peace and tranquility to grow in his footsteps. Would that the world were that simple. It is a wonderful notion, but one which is wholly unrealistic. And, if not for his proven ties to radical terrorists like William Ayers, and outspoken America haters like Jeremiah Wright, one might assume that this narrow-minded search for Utopia is simply the product of youthful naïvetee. But in light of those ties, and the comments of his own wife about her disdain for America , one must assume that this idea of “spreading the wealth” is the idea of a man who cares not one iota about what is best for America .
I am also skeptical of a man whose idea of patriotism is to pay more taxes. I don’t know about you, but I pay enough in taxes, and the fact that Joe Biden believes that somehow paying more to the government makes me more patriotic makes my skin crawl. Maybe not as much as the image of Helen Thomas in a two-piece, but my skin does crawl.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for fairness. And I’m not saying that we should completely do away with welfare, or disability benefits. I think those things should be curtailed, but I know those things are par for the proverbial course here in America in the twenty-first century. But I damn sure don’t believe that working-class people, who already see enough of their hard-earned money go to the federal government, need to give more so that the government can “spread the wealth” to able-bodied non-working leeches who don’t contribute in any way to the American way of life.
And that’s exactly what will happen if Barack Obama becomes president. Sure, it will start with the rich. It always does. But does anybody really think it will stop there? You see, liberals have this cockamamie notion that the average American, who is paying more in taxes than they think is fair, will leap with joy to see the government sticking it to the rich guy down the street (you know, the one making more than $250,000 a year). But most of us simply aren’t that short-sighted. Many of us want to become that guy down the street, and we know that living in an America in which we are able to pursue our dreams, and through hard work and determination maybe reach those dreams, is our best chance at becoming that guy. And we know that a liberal America is not that America .
The liberals’ idea of fairness is never about raising up those on the bottom, but tearing down those on the top. Sure it’s fair, but where is the incentive to rise to the top? And If the satisfaction of seeing others hurt is really what drives you, do you really think that taxing the rich more is going to hurt them? Former president Ronald Reagan once said that he had never been hired by a poor man. How true. If we tax the rich more, all that will do is force them to stop hiring the little guy, or cut their benefits, or cut back their hours. And when Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and all the other liberals in the government realize that they can’t get enough out of the rich - who will have no doubt safely stored their money in off-shore accounts – who do you suppose they’ll come after next? The forty percent of Americans who don’t pay taxes, but will benefit from their ‘tax-the-rich’ plan? No my friends, they will turn to us, Joe and Jolene Sixpack, and they will tell us it is time once again to “be more patriotic”.
Ex-president Bill Clinton (they always call our guys ‘ex’ instead of former, so I’ll do the same to theirs) once said that he would not give the American people a tax refund because we might not know how to spend the money. Our money! Our hard-earned money! And maybe he was right, but we can sure as hell make a better educated guess at it than the federal government can! Hell, if I want to take a large percentage of my money and invest in magic beans, that’s my prerogative.
I’ve got an even better idea, how about I take thirty percent of the money I earned this year and flush it down the toilet. Or burn it on a pyre. Or feed it to my dog. At least then I’ll know that it didn’t go to the good-for-nothing lowlife who lives down the street from me – who doesn’t work or pay taxes, yet somehow lives in a nicer home than me (if you look past the three junked cars sitting on blocks in the front yard, and the children running around barefoot in diapers in October). Or the much more likely cause of tracking the mating habits of the near-sighted plaid-skinned humping pygmy frog from New Guinea , at ten million dollars a year.
You say it’s time to be patriotic? You say you need more from me? No thank you Uncle Sam. I earned it, and I’ll decide how to spend it. I might make a mistake or two with my money, but I’ll take my chances, and I’ll thank you to keep your grubby paws off!
-Freddie “Thighs” Banjo Feeling much better after his recent death, and is now on the mend. Thanks for all the well-wishes and gaudy flower arrangements.
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