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IT’S THE END OF DAYS! 11/05/2008 No really, it’s not. It is not the end of the world. It just feels like it to millions of Americans. You know, those backwoods gun toting God loving rednecks. And anyone especially fond of the Constitution. The Democrats wanted the first ever black president and they got him. And they didn’t have to give up the God-given rights of every American to get him either. That was just a bonus. For the next few days we will no doubt hear about how liberals have finally been vindicated. We will hear how they will be able to affect real change now that they have not only the presidency, but also a majority in Congress. And that is true. But someone may ant to ask just what they hell they’ve been doing with their majority in Congress over the past two years? They certainly haven’t set the world on fire. Of course, they couldn’t do too much because they had to consider the ’08 presidential election. News flash guys – there will always be an election just two years away. So don’t get comfortable. Yesterday’s election was a boon to every extreme liberal nut-job in the world. You’ve finally got your day. Now don’t waste it smoking pot like you know you want to. Go out there and start screwing things up! Nationalized healthcare? You bet! Stealing from the rich to give to the government? Why not! Tax everyone making more than forty thousand dollars a year? Halleluiah! Abortions for every child under the age of twelve? Can’t hurt! Unless you’re a fetus that is. Yeah, change is a comin’ America, don’t you worry. That’s a promise. Tippecanoe and Obama too, and an aborted fetus in every pot! But I would like to take a moment here to congratulate President-Elect Obama on his victory and for running a good campaign. I hope I’m wrong about him, but sadly, I don’t think I am. However, he truly was the better of the two liberals running. Because, let’s face it, John McCain is no conservative. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out he was working for the Obama campaign all along. Americans made their choice yesterday, but we never really had a choice to begin with. But we will have a choice in 2010, and now is the time when we true conservatives need to come together to say enough is enough. In a way, I’m glad John McCain lost this election. Had he won we would have had four more years of the same republican apathy we‘ve been seeing since ’04. But now, conservatives – true conservatives – have a chance to put the pieces back together and come back in the next Congressional election and elect some real conservatives; people who will work with the opposing party just like they will work with us – not at all. It’s time for us to stop being nice to these people. I want a real conservative to vote for in 2010. Someone who will only "reach across the aisle" to smack the crap out of his opponent. It’s time to fight back! It’s time to take the one-sided civility out of American politics! If they want to act like gutter rats, I say we need to stop taking the high-ground. Depressing as this election was for Americans who, well, love America, there are a few rays of sunshine highlighting an otherwise dark cloud. First, we have eight Hillary-free years to look forward to. Second, after eight years of silence, we will finally have a chance to bitch about what a complete screw-up the democrat president is. I’m already working on an Obama movie, "based on a true story". And third (and best of all in my opinion) NO MORE MICHAEL MOORE! He’s got absolutely nothing to gripe about, so he’s pretty much out of business. He’s also out of clothes that fit. So take heart America. We will get the country back, but sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. And unless I’m completely wrong, things are about to get a lot worse. But we will weather this storm just like we have weathered every storm. After all, we made it through Carter, didn’t we? Freddie "Thighs" Banjo Freddie is now assembling his own exploratory committee for the 2012 election.
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